Infertility: some thoughts

I use Twitter to keep in contact with a small group of people. Often these lovely ladies (I think the only male I have on Twitter is my husband) spark some interesting conversations.

Todays conversation was infertility, and why we are being dealt these pretty shitty cards. My friend Kel posted about a blog when summed it up pretty well, especially this part:

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known." (From My Face Tube)

I often go through the "why me". For some time it did my head in. And somehow, I realised that god (if there is a god, I am not a deeply religious person) doesnt deal out things we can't cope with. S/he obviously knew that I could cope with this, and come out the other side, having learnt a valuable life lesson. It has made my marriage stronger, taught me many things, not only about the medical world, but about people.

I don't only dream of the day I have a baby in my arms, but the day my dear friends (who know who they are) also come out the other side. I hate that I have to go through this, but I hate it even more than my dear friends are suffering as well.

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After Marriage Vent

Husband and I have been married 17 months now, and don't have children yet.

Now, apparently this is up for public comment (must have missed signing that release). Lately I have had more people ask me "soooo, when you and B going to have children" or "time is ticking. tick tock" (yes, because 24 is soooooo old).

Now this shits me on several levels. One, it is B and my life. We shall have children when we see fit. God, it isnt for lack of trying, we have had some nasty little curve balls thrown at us this last 17 months. Not that we talk about our fertility with many people, but still.

And secondly, what business is it of other people? I mean, do I walk up to them and say "soo, had sex lately?" You dont ask those kind of questions. It's just not done, so why do people see it fit to ask about our plans for children? Why? And it isnt just older people, it is friends of ours, young people.

Does anyone else get these questions? How do you deal with them?

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