I use Twitter to keep in contact with a small group of people. Often these lovely ladies (I think the only male I have on Twitter is my husband) spark some interesting conversations.
Todays conversation was infertility, and why we are being dealt these pretty shitty cards. My friend Kel posted about a blog when summed it up pretty well, especially this part:
"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known." (From My Face Tube)
I often go through the "why me". For some time it did my head in. And somehow, I realised that god (if there is a god, I am not a deeply religious person) doesnt deal out things we can't cope with. S/he obviously knew that I could cope with this, and come out the other side, having learnt a valuable life lesson. It has made my marriage stronger, taught me many things, not only about the medical world, but about people.
I don't only dream of the day I have a baby in my arms, but the day my dear friends (who know who they are) also come out the other side. I hate that I have to go through this, but I hate it even more than my dear friends are suffering as well.