Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I didn't have the easiest time getting pregnant, our fertility troubles were the hardest thing I had ever faced. I learnt a lot about myself, my husband, and our marriage. I never once thought that getting pregnant would be the easy part!
I really did think I was prepared for life with a newborn. I expected to be up at all hours of night, I expected to change dirty nappies and I expected to get the Day 3 Blues (oh yeah, they came. My poor Obs found me hysterical one morning reading the birth report - which was stupid as I have a complication free delivery). I read the books, went to classes and watched other parents.
And then Eliza arrived and everything I thought I knew went out the window. The first few weeks we ok, I was living on adrenalin. When I complained I was tired I didn't know that I could be even more tired than that. Each week brought a new level of exhaustion. A new level of self confidence that was just that little bit lower than the week before.
I do it easier than some, but I still do it tougher than others. Majority of weeks the husband leaves at 7.30am on Monday morning and comes home at 7.00 Friday night. My mum works shiftwork and might call in once a week if I am lucky, and I don't have friends that can really call in as they have their own lives to lead. Most days I cope, but some days I don't. Somedays I just want to run away and not come back, because that just seems easier.
Funny how they don't tell you this in the books though.